“Tiny Table Talks” is an intimate, in-person, conversation series presented by Stonewall Columbus, designed to explore and celebrate the depth and diversity of the LGBTQ+/queer experience. Each discussion is a mosaic of perspectives, shedding light on the nuanced realities of queer life. This series is a tribute to the power of dialogue in fostering understanding, respect, and change.
“Tiny Table Talks” aims to create a reflective space where we can collectively deconstruct stigmas, challenge stereotypes, and build solidarity. It is a call to gather, learn, and grow as a community, recognizing that while the table may be small, the potential for impact is vast.
In February 2024 Stonewall Columbus presented the first Tiny Table Talk on the Aro and Ace spectrum. Below are meeting notes from this in-person session.
Welcome to ‘Tiny Table Talks,’ a Stonewall Columbus initiative inspired by the power of community conversations. Each session is a beacon, a safe harbor for thoughts and experiences that shape our identities and our journeys.
Today, as we gather around these Tiny Tables we are embarking on a journey of understanding, a journey that celebrates the diverse tapestry of human affection and identity. We’re here to open our hearts and minds to the experiences of those within the Aromantic (Aro) and Asexual (Ace) spectrums—communities that enrich our world with their unique perspectives on connection, love, and self-expression.
In a society that often equates romance and sexual attraction with fulfillment, it’s essential to recognize and validate the myriad of ways individuals experience these aspects of life, or how they may not experience them at all. Our discussion aims to shine a light on these often misunderstood and overlooked identities, to create a dialogue that is both enlightening and empowering.
Hopefully we leave today feeling like we can be better community members and allies, how we can provide opportunities and heightened awareness, and how we can work towards destigmatizing these identities.
This is more than just talking; it’s a step towards a more inclusive and understanding world.
We’re glad you’re here to take that step with us.
Let the conversation begin.
“Ace and aro” is a term used to describe people who identify as both aromantic and asexual. “Aro” is an abbreviation for “aromantic”.
- Aromantic means someone experiences little to no romantic attraction.
- May have sexual attraction.
- Asexual means someone experiences little to no sexual attraction.
- May have romantic attraction.
- Aromanticism is a romantic orientation.
- Romantic orientation is based on a person’s gender(s) regardless of their sexual orientation. It can indicate the gender with which a person is likely to fall in love or have a relationship, even if it doesn’t involve sex.
- Asexuality is a sexual orientation.
- Sexual orientation is traditionally defined as including heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality, while asexuality is considered the fourth category of sexual orientation by some researchers and has been defined as the absence of a traditional sexual orientation.
- The two don’t necessarily correlate.
- Some people may identify as both aromantic and asexual, or be asexual but not aromantic, or vice versa.
Aromantic asexual people are colloquially known as “aro-ace”.
Aromantic individuals can experience platonic love and may have committed friendships, and some form intimate non-romantic partnerships called “queerplatonic relationships”.
- Who exists on the spectrum?
- What does it look like/feel like?
- How do we work to provide better opportunities and awareness for folks on the spectrum?
- How to de-stigmatize?
Terms to know:
Aromantic– experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior
Asexual– experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior
Demiromantic– little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual connection is formed with someone, often within a sexual relationship
Demisexual– little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic connection is formed with someone, often within a romantic relationship
Grayromantic-a general term used for those who experience romantic attraction very rarely, weakly or only under specific circumstances
Questions to enhance discussion
- Are there any of the listed terms above that seem confusing or difficult to understand?
- How is the aromantic/asexual identity spectrum defined beyond the glossary definitions?
- What are some common misconceptions or stigmas surrounding the aromantic/asexual identity?
- Do you personally know anyone who identifies within the aro/ace spectrum?
- How can we better incorporate the aro/ace language within our daily conversations?
- What can I do as an individual to break down the stigmas against the aro/ace spectrum community?
- In what ways does the gender binary reinforce stigma or misinformation within the ace/aro spectrum?
- How does the portrayal of romantic and sexual partners within media affect the ways in which we value them within the LGBTQ+ community?
- What is the current portrayal of ace/aro individuals within modern media?
- How is the portrayal of ace/aro individuals excluded from modern media?
- How might intersectional identities of race/gender/sexuality/religion contribute to internal homophobia within aro/ace individuals?
- What opportunities are there for organizations to amplify aro/ace individuals?
- Is there a current need to create additional spaces for aro/ace folks to come together in community?
- Is there anything else you’d like to understand more deeply about the aro/ace community to help you be a better ally?
- How will you continue the conversation after this event?
