[youtube width=”900″ height=”506″]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=516UsXHwxUA[/youtube]
Video by Amber Dupree
KYLE’S STORY
Kyle Davidson was born in 1968 in Buffalo, NY to a family well-acquainted with military service. Davidson’s father served two tours with the Army in Vietnam and Korea and both grandfathers fought in WWII…one as a pilot and the other in the Navy.
There were two things that Kyle always wanted to be: a pilot….and a dad. To accomplish the first dream, he started flying lessons at the age of fourteen and received his fixed-wing license when he was just twenty years old. Yearning to fly helicopters, Davidson joined the Army Reserves in 1990 as a private and then in 1992, joined the North Carolina National Guard after getting accepted into flight school. Two years later, in 1994, he graduated, certified to fly UH-1 “Huey” helicopters. He was right where he wanted to be. But there was another part of Kyle’s life that would complicate, for the time being, his ability to realize his full military service potential.
Davidson knew he was gay from a very young age and came out as a teen in small-town Urbana, Ohio…but only to his family. Finding it difficult to be both gay and a soldier, the tension between personal life and being in the military finally took its toll and Davidson left the army reluctantly but voluntarily…and was discharged “honorably” from the Army in 1995. Even though this was heartbreaking for him, he put aside his dreams of flying and worked for General Electric for the next 10 years and soon enjoyed his first long-term relationship with another man. In 2000, Kyle moved to Cincinnati to be nearer his family and in 2003, found himself, once again, searching for more meaning and purpose to his life than just working a steady nine-to-five.
Spurred on by the tragic events of September 11, 2001 and the ensuing conflicts that erupted in Afghanistan and Iraq, Davidson realized that his skills as a soldier just might still be of use to his country at that urgent time. So in 2007, at the age of 39, after being initially discharged from the Army in 1995, Davidson decided to re-enlist as a Warrant Officer in the Ohio National Guard in hopes of serving again. Although it was challenging enough for him to reacquaint himself with general flight operations after being away from it for twelve years, he also had learn and adapt to a new, more modern aircraft, the Blackhawk helicopter. But Kyle persevered and got his wings back, once again, in 2008. Consequently, Kyle deployed to Baghdad in 2009, flying VIP missions in combat areas. He remained stationed in Iraq until 2010.
However, back in 2007, after he had re-enlisted, Davidson had been confronted by a battalion commander who suspected that Davidson was gay. After much stammering by the commander, Davidson had finally asked, “Sir…are you asking me something… because I am not telling you anything”. The days of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” were in full swing. The commander backed down and gave the order that it all never be mentioned again.
But regardless, it was soon common knowledge among some in his battalion that he was a gay soldier. Shortly after that, Kyle began experiencing anonymous, homophobic harassment via email, received hand-written derogatory letters, found a dead bird in his car and had the word “Fag” keyed into his car door. Most of his fellow soldiers were very supportive of him, however, multiple official military investigations have failed to identify the harasser.
“We do very dangerous work,” Davidson says. “You want everybody to be competent and you want to be confident that everyone is looking out for you like you are looking out for them.”
The harassment still continues to this day.
However, refusing to be intimidated or bullied, the day after “DADT” was repealed in 2011, Kyle openly suggested to his commander that his then life partner, Noel Fonseca, accept the civilian volunteer position of “Family Readiness Leader” for his battalion. This group helps and supports military families who are left behind when soldiers leave home to serve. Noel was given the position and proceeded to whole-heartedly embraced his civilian leadership role and was awarded “State Volunteer of the Year” for 2012. Finally, Davidson and Fonseca could share their lives together proudly and openly in the eyes of the US Military. However, Davidson believes that it will take continued mutual understanding between the LGBT community and the military if full acceptance and inclusion is to occur.
“I do sometimes feel that my fellow LGBT community tends to be, not disrespectful… but unaware of the importance and history of the US military and why our country’s defense is so important. A strong military may be the very thing that insures that we won’t have to use it. While I expect the military to understand and empathize with our LGBT community, I also expect my LGBT community to empathize with those of us who serve and respect our military. There is learning that needs to happen both ways.”
Davidson is presently a full-time soldier with The Ohio National Guard while continuing to log flight time. He now serves openly without reservation and is preparing to deploy to Kuwait in February of 2015.
Married in May, 2013 at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington DC, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Kyle Davidson and his husband, Noel Fonseca have started the initial planning to realize Kyle’s other childhood dream after he returns from Kuwait. They both plan on becoming dads.
